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Hurting Women
July 17, 2019

The Dangerous Concert of Grief

By Women's Ministry

A note from Kelly King: I’ve watched a few friends go through some new kinds of grief this year. All of them involved some kind of loss—either a death of a person, a death of a dream, or the loss unfulfilled expectations. As Kasey Ewing shares today, grief may be the concert playing in public or in private. I’m grateful for a relationship with God who can put a new song in my heart and turn grief into joy.

Sometimes grief is loud and obnoxious like a toddler with a new toy that makes noise. And yet sometimes grief builds up slowly, and often it is just a silent note.

There are careless conversations…

A diagnosis is looming…

Friendships are fading…

Jealousy is budding…

It feels like children are scheming…

Pride prevails…

Sin is shaming…

Notes of hurt underneath an outwardly calm life erupt in a private orchestra concert inside your head. Hurt dances daily to the beat of twirling offenses.

Here lies the danger: the concert of pain is repeating inside your soul, and no one knows it is playing. Calling to “Alexa” doesn’t turn it off. The record just keeps spinning and spinning, getting louder with each new song of tears.

When our grief is public and demands attention, it is the new hit song on the radio and everyone is listening and singing along with you. But as the new hit fades from attention and when life strikes in small venomous bites, the song is unheard until disaster creates a new beat. Grief builds up, and we often react negatively so others will take notice and just listen to our private dance of pain.

But there is another way. There is One who knows the lyrics your heart is singing, and He is waiting for you to allow Him to choreograph a new song in your soul. Tell Him all the words to your secret lullaby; belt them out in the shower and to the heavens, freeing your lungs to share the sorrow with the One who heals.

“I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.” —Psalm 40:1-3 (ESV)


Kasey Ewing is a writer, speaker, and serves alongside her dad at Lowery Institute for Living where they both speak to churches and businesses. She is the author of God Enough, which details the journey of grief and recovery from the death of her son. Kasey vlogs at realtalkwithkasey.org tackling issues such as marriage, family and church life. She is married to Brad and has three boys—Drew, Jake (in heaven), and Jackson. 

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Filed Under: Hurting Women July 17, 2019

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