Twenty six years ago my phone rang. It was my sister in Michigan. She said, “Mom has collapsed. It’s an aneurysm. She’s going to die. You have to come home.” In that split second, life as I knew it changed. I had been married for five years, and we were still working our way through seminary in Ft. Worth. I booked the first flight out of DFW for the next morning. I did not sleep that night. All I could do was what came by default—I cried and sang hymns. It was a road I had never walked before, but I knew enough to know that the ground beneath me needed to be solid. So I sang at the top of my lungs, “On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand…“ along with, “Great is Thy faithfulness, Oh God my Father…“
I arrived at the hospital in Southwest Michigan at 1:25 pm. My mom was in a coma so I never had a conversation with her (although I spoke to her on the phone the day before). I simply laid next to her in the bed and sang in her ear every hymn I could remember. I don’t know if she heard me, but I like to think she did.
She died at 7:26 pm that night. I know, the hopeful way to say it is, “She went home to be with the Lord,” and while that is true as true can be, that night to me, she died. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful that death does not have the final say; I am so grateful that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. I am so grateful that we do not grieve as those who have no hope. Believe me, Jesus makes all the difference in a moment like that. However, it doesn’t lessen the sadness of losing your momma.
This Sunday is Mother’s Day. While many will celebrate with great joy, many will not. For many women this is a very, very hard and painful day. If that is the case for you, I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
Some women are grieving the loss of their mothers to death. Others are grieving the loss of a healthy relationship with their mother in life. Some are grieving the loss of a child or are unable to have children. If this is you, I am so sorry.
Could I encourage us today to be mindful of these women around us this weekend? If someone you know is hurting in this way, perhaps you could send a text, take her for coffee, or offer to go for a walk with her. Whatever you choose to do, please acknowledge her pain. Please let her know you see her and are praying for her.
My mom was 67 when she died. If your mom has passed away, regardless of her age, may I say, “There is no OK time to lose your momma,” and I am so, so sorry for your loss.
If our desire is to minister to hurting women, then this is a day that should be highlighted on our calendars because chances are, right now, there is one sitting next to you.
Kaye Hurta has a Masters Degree in counseling from Liberty University and is a crisis counselor for Women’s Events through LifeWay Christian Resources. Whether speaking, singing, or listening, Kaye’s passion is to help others find intimacy with Christ and soul transformation through the living pages of His Word. Kaye met and married her husband Chris in Austin, Texas in 1987. They have two daughters through the miracle of adoption, Madison and Cami. They live in the Chicago burbs where they are both on staff at Willow Creek Community Church. Kaye is also a contributing author for the LifeWay resource, Women Reaching Women in Crisis.