A note from Kelly King: Many times, ministry leaders find themselves thinking about others far more than they think about their own needs. Yet, if we can properly love others, we must have a biblical view of loving ourselves. In today’s article, Kaye Hurta encourages you in ways to put this principle into proper perspective.
On a certain occasion in Scripture, some Pharisees were asking Jesus a question relating to the Law and inheriting eternal life. Jesus responded, “‘What is written in the Law?’ he replied. ‘How do you read it?’ He answered, ‘Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as your yourself’” (Luke 10:26-27, NIV).
I’m a net-net kind of girl, so I love the simplicity of this plan—love God, love people. Love God, love people. Easy-peasy. Before we can effectively minister to and love hurting women, not only do we need to be able to name our own wounding, but we need to be able to rightly love ourselves. Rightly.
It is entirely possible we are getting hung up on this part, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But wait, we are a culture completely captivated with self. We are the “selfie” generation! There is more “me” in our world than we know what to do with. If that is the case, and we are loving others as ourselves, then why are we also a culture marked by extreme hatred for others? I’m just saying…
I’m not altogether sure we are loving ourselves in the way Christ is saying, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
I have had the privilege of praying with hundreds of women over the past several years and in hearing their stories one thing stands out: we are excellent at self-loathing.
We rarely offer ourselves the same grace we extend to others.
As self-loathing thoughts enter your thinking, ask yourself the following questions:
- What story are you telling yourself about yourself?
- What have you come to believe?
- What is the true root of that belief?
- What lies are you believing as truth?
Please take a moment and reflect on what you believe about you. As you do, could I ask you to be both curious and kind? Be curious about what you say and believe about yourself. Seek out the root of that belief. If it comes from anywhere other than God’s truth, replace it. Be kind, patient, and forgiving with your shortcomings. You are on a spiritual journey as well; show yourself some kindness.
As we learn to rightly love ourselves, we will be free to rightly love others. One important way we show love to others is by caring for them in their pain. Thank you for the many ways you are doing that right now.
Kaye Hurta has a Masters Degree in counseling from Liberty University and is a crisis counselor for Women’s Events through LifeWay Christian Resources. Whether speaking, singing, or listening, Kaye’s passion is to help others find intimacy with Christ and soul transformation through the living pages of His Word. Kaye met and married her husband Chris in Austin, Texas in 1987. They have two daughters through the miracle of adoption, Madison and Cami. They live in the Chicago burbs where they are both on staff at Willow Creek Community Church. Kaye is also a contributing author for the LifeWay resource, Women Reaching Women in Crisis.