My daughter is waiting. She is a mom—the baby just has not been born yet! She’s a typical mom in waiting. She’s nervous about what’s ahead, her baby’s health, her weight gain (or lack of!), and how she will manage a husband, a job, a house, church responsibilities, and a new baby! We have had some laughs about things that have been said to her and her pregnant friends by well meaning (we hope!) people. As women’s ministers, we want to stay away from the things that make moms in waiting cringe.
First, here are some things to never say to a mom in waiting:
- Are you pregnant?
- I was sick every day of my pregnancy, but I endured.
- God blessed me with morning sickness. It’s such a blessed reminder of what motherhood is all about.
- You know morning sickness is just a figment of your imagination, right?! Just be strong girl, and choose not to be sick!
- My labor was 29 (or 37, or whatever!) hours.
- My labor was 1 hour and a breeze! No drugs for me!
- Did the doctor say it was OK for you to gain that much weight?
- Are you eating? You look a little thin to be pregnant.
- You’re a little older than a “normal” mom, are you going to have all those tests?
- And the list goes on!
So, what can a women’s minister say to an expectant mom that will encourage her? Here are a few ideas:
- You look gorgeous!
- I am praying for you, your baby, and your family.
- Every pregnancy and birth experience is unique.
- May I bring you dinner one night sometime soon?
- Would you like information on a biblical motherhood class being offered?
- To encourage you, I’d like to give you this set of Scriptures for moms.
- If you’d like to talk to me or one of our moms, I’d love to set that up for you.
Being a mom in waiting has challenges. The support and encouragement of a women’s minister can change the mom’s perspective from “I changed my mind. I can’t do this!” to eager anticipation of life as a mom!
Don’t be shy; share words of encouragement and love to the pregnant women you know!
Dr. Deb Douglas is the minister to women at First Baptist Church, Bossier City, LA and a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier. Her passion is encouraging and equipping women to serve. She is also a freelance writer and contributed to Transformed Lives: Taking Women’s Ministry to the Next Level, Revised & Expanded. She is the wife of Paul, mom of Jared and Katie, mother-in-law to Emily and Jacob, and grandmother to Caroline and Lincoln.