Recently at a YOU Lead women’s leadership training, we had a panel of leaders answering questions submitted by attendees. Several past and upcoming posts address those and try to help answer them.
Today’s question: How do you balance family, wife, friend, serve and lead? (with 3 small children)?
I do not think there is ever total balance. God did give women the ability to juggle several responsibilities at a time, but I don’t think God ever intended for us to be everything to everyone every time! So, then how do you manage filling various roles in personal, work, church and community life?
First of all, especially for a leader, our primary relationship we must make sure is working is with Christ. I don’t mean always on the mountaintop, or even spending XXX amount of hours in prayer and Bible study. I do mean primary focus and continual focus on His presence, His truth and His work.
When we are seeking Him first (Matthew 6:33), He will not lay more on us than we can handle. I think the biggest problem is we are doing more than He told us to do, or instead of what He told us to do. Perhaps he said, “Rest”, and we said, “but I must prepare this Bible study.” He said, be with your husband” and we said, “but this email must get out to our small group”. You get the picture.
This is a daily, even moment by moment journey with Christ. He will show us what we are to do. It doesn’t mean it will never be stressful nor does it mean he will make your day 26 instead of 24 hours long. But it does mean, He will show you how and what He has assigned for you to do and be TODAY, NOW, IN THIS MOMENT.
If you are a mom of young children, think about what will happen if you shun time with them to “go do ministry” somewhere else. God gave you those children (husband, parents, siblings, co-workers, neighbors) for a purpose. They are ministry too. And actually they should be your first ministry.
Perhaps you think, but there is so much more I should be doing for the Kingdom. Remember , they are a part of that Kingdom! And, there will be a day when they won’t require as much attention. Ministry will still be there then too.
Find ways to include others in the ministry you do. Work together in ministry whenever possible. Ask them to pray as you do ministry. Pray together about ministry opportunities before you accept or decline them.
A dear friend and prayer partner has prayed this year that “God would enlarge my territory of influence, without increasing the task load.” And I am seeing that happen. It doesn’t make sense to me, but I am trusting God to help me do His work, His way with more work/ministry related assignments than I’ve ever had (and no buffer of extra time available). She also has prayed that God would give me the assignment He had for me daily, no more no less; and that I would know what the assignment is and be able to say yes with joy and no with grace.
Pray that as well! He will show you how to prioritize your life, your year, your day, and even your moments to glorify Him best!
Margins, Richard Swenson
A Place of Quiet Rest, Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Women Reaching Women