How’s your marriage? How are the marriages on your women’s leadership team? What about the rest of the women in your church? Marriages are struggling and falling apart daily. The enemy wants to destroy Christian marriages and especially the marriages of Christian leaders.
Our women’s team met today for what we call Marriage Monday. Sometimes we meet on other days of the week due to schedules, but we try to get together once a month to discuss marriage and how to make each of ours stronger.
Today, we watched a short clip from Les and Leslie Parrott’s study, The Secret to the Marriage You Want. The segment was “I Notice You.” The study focuses on how to empathize with our spouse to see things from his perspective as we relate. There were several important keys given today that I, for one (because this is my 40th year of marriage and I want it to be the best year of marriage for us), want to try and even be held accountable for.
One issue was “practicing priming”. What the Parrotts were saying was that as we head home or somewhere to meet our husbands, we often have our minds on the day we have just gone through, the difficult meeting or the work we have to do when we do get home. If that’s the case, I may not consider at all what kind of day he has had, what he has experienced or needs at that point. Instead, if I will take a little time to just focus on seeing him and wondering about his day, I can begin our time with asking how he is rather than just focusing on me.
Another point that spoke to me was, “offer an agenda-less presence”. In this day with all the ways we stay involved and connected (smart phones, lap tops, iPads and iPods) we can be present physically but not mentally. I have found myself several times recently only half listening to what my husband was saying…trying to get one last thing done. I told our group today that they can ask me how I’m doing on this so they can hold me accountable for how I am focusing fully on my husband’s words and actions instead of just a split second of time while I am doing several other things.
This year I want to “notice my husband”! I think that will make the 40th year of marriage even better.
What do you do as a leader to grow your marriage in Christlikeness? How are you leading the women in your church to do the same?
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